Designing Connection: The Power of Rituals (Part 1)
One of the first books I read about community building was The Art of Community by Charles Vogl. It focuses on the key principles for creating a sense of belonging, and one of those principles is rituals—practices that mark a moment or event as significant.
This concept of rituals has been very important for my community work, and I've had the privilege of collaborating with people who are equally passionate about it. One of them is Adam B. Cochrane, a Product Design Manager and Conference Director, who was also my colleague at Factory Berlin, where he worked as an Experience Designer. Apart from being one of my dearest friends, Adam has focused much of his career on observing and designing rituals to enhance community experiences, whether at Lufthansa, Zalando, Taxfix, or elsewhere.
We recently sat down for coffee and had a great chat about rituals—the yays, the nays, and what matters when designing them for communities.
Q: Let’s start light and breezy. Adam–how do you define “ritual” in the context of community design?
A: A ritual, for me, is something that the community does that defines them as a community. It’s not just about how they see each other or understand each other but about what actually brings them together.
Q: What makes a ritual different from a habit, tradition, or routine?
A: I think a habit or a routine is something that you do, like you brush your teeth. Whereas a ritual is something that you do, but it connects you to a higher sense of purpose or a value.
For instance, birthdays are something that you do, but they connect you with a higher value—which is appreciating a friend or a family member who has, you know, lived another year. It’s a recognition of who they are and why they’re special to you.
I think many rituals we have today are built upon a routine or a tradition. Christmas, for example, is a tradition, and now it’s a ritual for many people. A tradition is something we do because that’s just what’s done. A ritual, though, is where the value or purpose is a little clearer.
Image: Adam’s illustration
Q: So what if you’re brushing your teeth, and at the same time, you’re having a gratefulness meditation in your mind? Is that a routine or a ritual?
A: I would say that then it becomes a ritual because you’re connecting with a higher value or purpose. You’re taking something you do regularly, and you’re using it as an opportunity to reflect on a higher value or purpose.
If you’ve read Atomic Habits, this is also something they talk about—taking something you already do and using it as an opportunity to reflect on a higher value.
Why, in your opinion, are rituals important for building and sustaining communities?
A: I believe that rituals are the manifestation of the values, ethos, and purpose of a community. They’re really the times when you can physically see and participate in what the community is.
For instance, when I think about when I used to go to church, a ritual we had was going to youth group, participating in Friday sessions, or a Bible study. Taking part in those rituals meant that you were part of that community.
If I think about my work community or my design communities, it’s the same. Those who participate in design events, sign up, contribute, follow, or do talks—that’s when you can see the rituals of the community. That’s when you can see what the community really is.
Q: So would you say that if a community has more rituals, it makes the community stronger?
A: The number of rituals isn’t as important as the quality of the rituals. Rituals don’t always need to happen regularly; they might happen when there’s a certain trigger.
For instance, at work, you might have a ritual for someone leaving, a ritual for a birthday, or a ritual for onboarding or celebrating an achievement. It depends on the values of the organization or the community.
Quantity doesn’t necessarily mean better. You can test the quality of a ritual by asking:
Do people participate?
Does it define the community and its values?
If a new member joined, could they understand and partake in it and feel like part of the community?
When a ritual meets those criteria, it makes the community stronger.
Q: Tell me more about the process of designing rituals. What’s your process? Where do you start?
A: So there’s never such a thing as a blank canvas when it comes to designing rituals. There are always existing rituals. There’s always something that people are already doing that helps them connect or belong to the community you’re working with.
The fact that the community exists means there are inherently rituals in place. Have they been consciously designed and thought about? Probably not. They’re more likely things that have just picked up over time, so maybe they’re more traditions than rituals.
When I’m looking at creating rituals for a community—whether it’s a conference community, a new work team, or something else—I look for rituals that can do a few key things.
Q: What are those key things you look for when designing a ritual?
A: First and foremost, it has to make sense for the community. For example, if you have a community full of designers, it doesn’t make much sense to create something that’s more relevant to a completely different group. Or, if you’re designing a ritual in Berlin, you wouldn’t necessarily celebrate Oktoberfest—it’s not relevant in that context.
In general, there are a few elements I think about when defining a good ritual:
Ease of Understanding:
Is it easy for people to understand and participate in? Is it clear what the order of events is, how to join in, and why they should participate?
A Clear Process:
Does the ritual have a clear process for how it will happen? This helps ensure it’s repeatable and structured.
Uniqueness:
Is there something unique and identifiable about the ritual? Is there something specific that makes people say, This is what we do, and this is how we do it? For example, retrospectives are common in product development teams, but you might want to add a unique spin to make it distinct to your community.
Q: Are there specific goals or areas you try to focus on when developing rituals?
A: Yes, I try to design rituals that address three main aspects:
Connecting People:
Does the ritual help people connect with others in the community and build tighter relationships?
A Positive Return on Investment:
Is there a positive return for those who participate? This can be tricky because the return can take many forms—emotional, physical, a sense of belonging, or even learning something new. But overall, if someone partakes in the ritual, they should feel like they’ve left with more than they came in with.
Adaptability Over Time:
A good ritual should evolve. While the core of the ritual might stay the same, different elements—like who facilitates, how it starts, or what’s recognized—might change over time. This ability to learn and adapt keeps the ritual relevant and meaningful.
Image: Adam’s illustration
Q: Can you give an example of how a ritual might evolve?
A: Sure. Let’s say you have a ritual for celebrating team achievements. Initially, it might just involve a quick acknowledgment at the end of a meeting. Over time, though, you might add elements like peer recognition, a rotating facilitator, or a specific way of showcasing the achievements.
These changes don’t replace the core of the ritual—they build on it, making it richer and more tailored to the community as it grows and changes. A good ritual is never static; it’s something that you can develop and learn from as time goes on.
Q: You mentioned that, in communities, rituals often already exist, but with design, there’s a mix of creating new rituals and upgrading existing ones. How do you ensure a ritual feels authentic rather than forced?
A: The authenticity of rituals is always tricky. Rituals often take on a natural life cycle, but it can sometimes be slow to get them rolling. Starting something new can be really challenging, and the first few times might feel more like a structured routine or event rather than a true ritual.
That’s just part of the process, though. Once you do it enough times, people start to see it as something familiar—something that’s simply part of what they do. But to get to that point, the first instances of a ritual might feel a bit forced.
What can help it feel less awkward is having a clear process and intention. I often refer to Simon Sinek’s Golden Circle here: people connect better with rituals when they understand why they’re doing them. If you’re trying to start a new ritual and you don’t explain its purpose—what higher value or purpose you’re connecting to, and why it’s important for the company or the community—it can feel forced.
So, helping people understand the “why” is a big element in making rituals feel authentic.
Rituals are a powerful way to create connection, but they don’t always happen overnight. They should be thought through, with purpose and a shared sense of why. In Part 2, we’ll dive into what happens when rituals start to feel inauthentic, the role of co-creation and online rituals, and how to design rituals that evolve with your community. Plus, there will be some helpful resources if you want to dig deeper.
